Friday was good..and that's about it. typical.
Somehow I need to find a way to make this work. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and we got her a shredder. I wrapped it and had to carry it to my car. Up 3 steps from the garage. And it was hard. Yes, the box was big and awkward and a little heavy, but not that big and not that heavy. I took the steps 2 feet at a time and I was afraid I would fall and it was hard. And then we went to get the pizza's (yep! Pizza) We parked and went in. I carried the pizzas to the car and I was out of breath. 2 pizzas, 15 parking spots out and I was out of breath. What the hell?!?! I have totally forgotten how life can be. All I know is hard and awkward. I spend so much time accommodating or avoiding or struggling that I lose the joy.
I am tired of saying I am trying again, but the other choice is to roll over and die. So I try. But more than 1 day in a row would be nice.
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8 comments:
Sandi, when life has lost most of its joy for you that is when you need to seek help. I think everyone gets to a point where they give up struggling and go with the flow and I don't want to see you do that. It is up to you what kind of help you seek and I think you need more than just seeing a nutritionist. You probably know as much about nutrition as s/he does. Give it some thought okay but I think you really need to look outside of where you are now for a solution that is going to work. Best wishes as always!
But what? I tried lapband and I am not covered by Insurance and money is tight. I am out of ideas.
I know you tried the lapband but that was a year or more ago, your insurance may have changed it's policy and lots of people end up appealing before getting approved. Lots of stress but worth the work.
Hang in there!
Sandi, money is tight for everyone these days. A friend of mine borrowed money to have it done, maybe that would be an option. In the long run wouldn't it be worth it? Also I think checking back with your insurance company would be a good idea. I can't believe that they won't cover you. I don't know if you ever looked at this site www.obesityhelp.com, they know everything there is to know about getting approval for surgery. I know it is a big hassle going through the process and having to appeal and all that but maybe this is what you need to do. Look, both of us have been on 3FC for a long time, I've been 10 years and you 9 years and all this time we've been struggling to do it by diet and exercise and let's face it, it isn't working. If I could have WLS I would but sadly it would take me forever to get approval though my government sponsored health care (and even longer to actually have the surgery) and I am in so much debt I couldn't even borrow money to have it done. So right now I am doing a liquid diet (now you know who I am! BTW I wasn't the other anonymous) and it seems to be working but it is a struggle not to eat. And it will be a struggle to maintain the loss and retrain myself to eat properly. Anyway I know I said a lot of this a year ago but I probably shouldn't be saying it again but I'm seeing the hopelessness and frustration in your posts and it frustrates me to no end that people have to go through this struggle. Life is hard enough without stupid baggage like this. It is terrible that we go bonkers over the swine flu yet bariatrics is at the end of the list as far as money from the government or insurance company. When are they going to wake up and realize that they'll save billions in acute care later on if they do preventative care now? ie WLS or other weight loss clinics? Anyways I am totally off the subject and onto my soapbox. I don't know what other kind of resources are available where you live but I hope you are able to find something that will help you. I know on 3FC that you don't open up much because you'll get a lot of advice you don't need or want, you cheer everyone else on instead. Well I'm here cheering for you, you are often in my thoughts and I wish you the very, very best.
What's with all the Anonymous...names would be nice.
Sandi, I understand the struggle you're going through. I've been overweight (technically morbidly obese-yech, what a title!) for years. I don't have any diet advice to offer, but I like your attitude - keep trying! I see you as an inspiration because you always keep going.
Hi Sandi, I was the anonymous who suggested checking out the lapband again. As you know, I had lapband surgery almost 4 years ago. I've lost 80 pounds & am keeping it off. I need to lose more but even if I don't where I am now is so much better than where I was 4 years ago.
I follow your story because we were a lot alike. My weight had just passed 300 and it was 320 by the time I started my preop diet and you were around the same range at the time. We both know what it takes but no amount of diet and exercise was actually getting me anywhere. I had read some studies that said once you went over 300 pounds it was almost like you hit a tipping point and your weight would go up and up.
It is SO different with the lapband. I truly don't feel hungry and I feel full/satisfied on so much less food. It's much easier to make good choices when you know you're only going to be able to eat a little bit - no cheating possible. Bread at a restaurant becomes totally uninteresting. Not to say there aren't ways to cheat on the lapband or any surgery but I can't have "just one more bite".
I know you were disappointed when your insurance turned you down but you're worth it - you need to fight for tools to help you out.
Good Luck -- Kim
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