more than just talking about it

May 1st...weigh in day.  For the first time since I started this journey I have a month where I have gained.  I am at 264.6, which is a gain of 2.8 lbs.  I am not pleased AT ALL, but honestly, it is what it is and I can't hide from it. 

I had a rough month.  I think things got out of hand partly because I wasn't doing a weekly weigh in, but a monthly weigh in and therefore I lost my accountability.  A binge that before would have been nipped in the bud because of an upcoming weigh in was able to go on for days before I managed to stop it.  I am not only accountable here, but there are people IRL who ask me on Mondays how I did that week.  I was able to blow them off and claiming a "monthly" weigh in, and this is where it got me.  So that is stopping today.  From now on, I will post weekly weigh in's again. 

I think I have mentioned before that even though getting the rest of this weight off is sooo important, it also has lost some of it's urgency.  I am in such a better place than I was.  I still have my 211 anniversary goal to reach, so I need to get things under control.  The thing is that all I need to do is follow my plan EVERY day.  I am getting enough exercise, I am lifting weights 4 times a week, I just must stick to 1800 calories a day.  So I started using my exercise log to also write down my daily calories and if I stick under 1800, I get a smiley face sticker.  I need to see in a very obvious way that I doing this and succeeding.  Last night after I wrote down my calories and awarded myself the smiley sticker I wanted pretzels.  110 calories of pretzels.  I was already at 1737, so I didn't have the calories to give.  So because I wanted to keep my sticker, I didn't have any.  Instead I went to bed.  At 9:30.  But I think that's what it's going to take to keep my head in the game. When I eat and stick to 1800 calories, I in no way feel deprived or even hungry.  I get plenty to eat.  It's all about making the better choices, not snacking and knowing what will trigger me and what won't.  I have been perfectly on plan since last Wednesday, so that's 6 days.  It's a start. 

I have also identified the week before my cycle as a real danger zone when my hormones take over and I go crazy.  So I have highlighted that week in yellow in my planner, so I know I have to be on high alert that week.  Oh, goody...This week is that week. 

In other news, I rode my bike again this weekend.  Jake and I had a gift to deliver to a friend, so we just rode over there.  It was sprinkling, but we rode anyway.  I am getting more steady, can't wait until I don't even think twice about it.  I plan to try and ride every weekend. 

I must tell you about my AWESOME yogurt Ranch dip.  I use light ranch.  80 calories, 7 grams of fat.  Someone had posted on pinterest (I will not carry on about how much I love pinterest, but OMG!!!  I do!) That they had made low cal / low fat ranch with greek yogurt and hidden valley ranch dressing mix.  So I tried it and it's the best thing ever!!  23 calories and no fat.  Not to mention twice the protein!!

• 1 cup plain nonfat Greek yogurt
• 1 package hidden valley ranch dressing mix (not the dip)
• 1/4 cup skim milk

Mix and enjoy!!!