This is when it happens, I can see it all play out in my head. I was bad over the weekend, but got right back on. But it's my period week, so there has been too much chocolate and 1 steak sandwich (but I didn't get the fries). And slowly I start making more and more bad choices and then another bad weekend and then all the holiday parties. And come the new year, I have gained it all back and say, boy, I did so well until Thanksgiving. And that will be that.
I have been fighting off the thought of donuts for breakfast, crappy fast food for lunch.
I know this, I am aware, so I can stop it, I can change it. It doesn't have to be. I am in charge.
I called Steve today and told him about my fears and that I need to be 100% on plan right now. No fudging, at all. I did this so that he will not accidentally tempt me this weekend. I do not have an "event" until next Thursday. I can have my brain turned around by then.
I don't want to fail again. I don't want this to be just another "attempt". I am in the middle of week 6...I am 14 lbs down. I don't want to start over. My mom and Steve are actually proud of me. I am actually proud of me. It's not that it's hard, I just have to keep doing it. Right now the Holidays are dancing around in my head. I just need to put the food on auto-pilot and choose easy low-cal meals and get through the next 4 weeks until I can focus on my health and weigh loss again.
I think I will try to go back to checking in every day too. I need the accountability.
I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Yes, you CAN, Sandi! And checking in every day here and at 100 lb. will do wonders for you. Everytime you think of caving, get thee online. You've got a lot of support online so I hope you will let yourself use that support.
Sheila53
Leave your blog or 3FC somewhere on your computer everyday so you can highlite it in a second if you need to. Post stuff around your kitchen, post-it notes, photos, anything that will stop you from getting into food you know you shouldn't be eating. Write out a daily plan in big letters on a sheet of paper and carry it around with you every where you go. I bought a big tin of chocolate covered pretzels and popcorn from a fundraiser and I have a sheet of paper with a big NO sitting on it so I don't eat any. I started TOM today and it explains why my eating has been even worse than usual this past week. Kudos for getting through most of yours staying on plan! Figure out if you keep up this level of weight loss will you be back into the 200's? Write down this sentence 'If I stay on plan by ..... I will be under 300 lbs'. Write it on post-it notes all over the kitchen and carry one with you and your daily plan everywhere. You can do this Sandi! It won't be much longer that all of this will be second nature and you'll be melting away before our eyes!
Jen
Hugs to you, Sandi! Keep on the path. I know you can! Focus on one food choice, one exercise choice at a time. Hang in there!!!
Jen
Sandi, You CAN do it! You've got some great ideas of your own and from other comments. Something that was INVALUABLE to me when I first started losing weight was visualizing myself at a smaller weight. When I would be tempted to cheat, I would envision how I would look in a smaller size. I did this for months and it helped me more than you can imagine. (I'm not someone who would normally advise somebody to do something so "intangible" as this, but I swear it helped me so much.) Like Jen said, I would calculate, "OK, if I keep losing x lbs per month, I'll weigh 299 by XXX date." or "I could weigh XX by Christmas if I stay on plan".
Some other things I still do to get past those moments: make sure I have lots of easy to get to "diet" foods and no temptation foods in the house. I still have a big sticky on my refrigerator door that says 346 (my starting weight) in black magic marker. I've also had to resort to writing it on the lid of the peanut butter jars on occasion. Post an "I need help" thread - just to get you through a bad day. You know you'll get lots of support from 3FC. Take care. JTammy
You were not bad Sandi, you were being human. It all plays out in your head in precisely this manner because your head is that of a food addict's. No right or wrong, bad or good, just the comfortable and predictable pattern that we strive to break every single day. But you, m'dear, are aware of it, ever conscious of the destructive thought process, and making adjustments accordingly. Be damn proud Sandi, we sure are.
Bev
Post a Comment