Last week, I averaged 1846 calories and did 140 mins of exercise and I lost...Nothing...zip...nadda. If I had posted this on Thursday last week, I would be reporting a 1.8 lb loss, but on Saturday and Sunday I gained .8 and then 1 lb. Talk about discouraging. Then I realized that I didn't take my water pill (for blood pressure) on Sunday and I may have forgotten to take it on Saturday too. Which would explain the gain. It doesn't make me any happier, but it might explain it.
This weekend sure did test me, starting with Friday. Steve was out with friends so I took Jacob to Subway for dinner and then we rented a movie. On the way to Subway, Jacob told me that on the playground that day, a boy named Tony grabbed him by the back of the jacket and shook him and said "look I have a new toy", while he was doing that a boy named Brice said "Your mom is so fat, she can't fit into her car" and then Tony pushed him down. I get the impression that Brice made fun of me some more, but Jacob didn't elaborate. I started to cry and asked him how he handled it. He said he told the teacher and the boys had to stand on the line. I told him that I thought he handled it well, and then he said something about me not being fat. I told him that I was fat, but that I was trying to eat healthier and exercise more so I would lose weight. He didn't seem upset by the incident, but I was devastated. And all I wanted to do was eat. I wanted cookies at Subway, I wanted ice cream when we got home, popcorn, something to squash these terrible feelings. But then I thought about how STUPID it would be to go off plan and eat a bunch of crap because Jacob got made fun of at school for me being fat. It just didn't make sense. So I stayed on plan and delt with my feelings.
Saturday was that craft fair. I was so proud of myself because I managed to find something very healthy and we walked for 3-4 hours. I was sure I would see a decent loss on Sunday. What I saw was a .8 GAIN. That didn't make sense and quite honestly it completely bummed me out. I lost all motivation. I didn't care. It was a good thing I wasn't alone, because I would have ate. My attitude sucked. Whatever. But somehow I managed to stay on plan although I didn't exercise. Then this morning, another 1 lb gain. I could have cried. Then I realized about the water pills and I am thinking that's what happened.
Today is the start of week 4 - it has been a seriously long time since I have made it this long. I feel compelled to stay on plan. I know I can do this, I know I can. I thought that food events were my only obstacle, I forgot about the emotional eating. But I can and will overcome.
Let's hope it's the water pill!!!
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6 comments:
I experienced the same thing--didnt take my water pills all weekend and have subsequently gained some water weight. But I'm back on it, and so glad you are too!
And I am so happy to hear you did not deal with your emotions by using food!!
Jen415
Oh Sandi -- the weight gain could be the water pills or it could be a wonderful new set of muscles. It could also just be the time of day and the moment in the week that you weighed. This is why I weigh myself daily and take an average each week.
I am so sorry about the bullies. It sounds like you handled it so well. Fortunately, Jacob is young and so does not carry all the negatives in his brain about weight that we adults do.
When my own kids make an innocent remark -- like my daughter asking why I am bigger than other moms she knows -- I try and respond that people are all different and how wonderful it is that we all get such amazing, unique bodies. In terms of weight loss, I try and stress to my kids that I am working to be healthy and energetic. I don't bring size into the discussion at all -- but I have also not had to deal with bullies putting words into their brains.
I know we don't know each other (I came here through 3fc) but I am so excited for your progress. Four weeks is just amazing!!!
Sandi-
It's hard to hear things like that. You have the right attitude though. Instead of letting it beat you into eating, you're using it to propel forward. I think you are doing wonderfully. Keep your head high. You are 4 weeks into this. I also hear you about the weigh in. I truly think it comes down to what your body decides to hang onto at that exact moment you step on the scale. What matters is that you are continuing to make steady progress regardless of a minor and I mean MINOR set back on the scale. Next week it will be gone and then some. You are such an inspiration.
"So I stayed on plan and delt with my feelings."
Honestly, a gain or a loss makes no difference when compared to the significance of that statement. You faced your demons and you won. THAT is what true success is all about.
You inspire me Sandi; I couldn't be more proud.
Bev
Sandi, you are doing a wonderful job. Everyone who read this blog is so proud of what you are accomplishing. I share that pain of the other kids bullying your son about your weight. I've been scared in someways of being around my son's friends or going to his school to do any volunteer work. It is funny/sad in a way, if such a huge percentage of the population is overweight where are all the overweight moms when I need them?!? All the moms I end up seeing are skinny.
Anyway you are doing a great job and I think you are over the biggest hurdle, getting through the first month is supposed to be the hardest and you are almost there! Keep up the great work!!!
Jen from 3FC
If you're going to weigh everyday, you have to be prepared for the little 1 lb ups and downs.
If it makes you miserable and makes you want to go offplan, quit weighing everyday!
I used to be addicted to the scale, I got on it multiple times a day, it was a complete emotional roller coaster. If the scale was down, I was euphoric, I was a success, weight loss was easy,a breeze! If the scale was up, I was devastated, a failure, all that hard work for nothing, I might as well eat cheesecake.
When I started weighing once a week and charting my weight loss, I was able to get a better idea of weight loss over time and I could get off the emotional roller coaster.
Pick up a glass of water - just one glass, it's so HEAVY. Keep in mind how much a single glass of water can affect the scale!!!
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