I have been thinking a lot lately about why I can't seem to stick to my plan for very long. Something always happens and then I am off plan and eating like there is no tomorrow. I think part of it is my relationship with food. What it does for me, it's purpose. It's my hobby. Like right now I want to go get a donut. Am I hungry...no, not really, but I am just sitting here working and it's not very exciting, so a donut will make it more interesting. I don't want to deal with the boredom of what I am doing so I want a distraction and for my whole life, that distraction has been food. I have had a piece of gum and then I went got a diet soda. But I still feel anxiety about the boredom.
I think the other part (the part I like to ignore) is the chemical reaction the food has in my body. When I eat sugar and high fat foods, I crave more. Period. I set myself up for failure. I didn't have my peanut butter banana sandwich this morning. There were left over banana chocolate chip pecan muffins (let's not even talk about the fact that the muffins should not have been there in the 1st place!), so I had that. And I think it's that that's causing my problem. I think the sugar is super hard for me to give up, but I also think by removing sugar from your diet, you remove the cravings and set yourself up for success. That's a pretty hard pill to swallow. But I don't think I have a choice.
I think somewhere I still believe there has to be an easy way to do this. I am such a procrastinator!!!
I weighed in at 339 today. Down 1.6. Not the greatest, but I'll take it.
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7 comments:
Hey Sandi - you're down almost 2 lbs, that's AWESOME!!!
Your blog today really struck home, because I have a very similar relationship with food - I eat when I'm bored. I've always been able to eat when I wasn't hungry. I think my relationship with boredom eating dates back to my days as a latchkey kid - came home from school, not allowed outside to play, nothing to do but watch TV and eat. I used to sprinkle white sugar on bread and eat it for a snack!
You said a donut would be exciting - I still feel the EXACT SAME way, but now I get excited over stuff like fresh bing cherries (which I ate today!!) and other fresh berries (like blackberries).
I am also very very very similar to you with the sugar rush. When I eat something sweet, I immediately want more. It's a weird feeling, like I want to put another bite in my mouth before I'm finished with the first bite. A "cram it in" sensation, I guess.
Cutting out nearly all sugar (besides natural sugars in fruits) really worked for me when I first started. Those cravings really went away and I could taste the natural sweetness of foods (like a baked sweet potato, which tastes really good to me now!).
The sugar addict feeling has gotten better for me but I still treat it like the dangerous sleepign sugar monster it is. I don't bring sweet things into the house (NO MUFFINS - baked goods are like crack to me). I eat them in CONTROLLED situations. A biscotti with my skinny latte. A single scoop of no sugar added ice cream with raspberries and Cold Stone creamery, splitting a dessert in a restaurant. I can handle all of that!
YOU CAN DO THIS! Thinking through the WHYS is a vital part of this process. Find out the WHY and then find out YOUR strategy. For me, I realized "hey, I like to eat! a lot!" so I made a strategy where I have healthy snacks every 2 hours.
You will find out what works for YOU! Throw those muffins out!
There is NO EASY way to do this - it is hard work for me EVERYDAY. Finding recipes, going to the store AGAIN AND AGAIN (2-3 times a week or more!) packing lunches, cooking dinner (EVERY NIGHT, I GET SO TIRED OF COOKING DINNER). Saying no. That is the hardest thing and the part I struggle with the most - if it's RIGHT in front of me, I want it!
It is NOT easy, at all! But it's so worth it. I wouldn't have believed 4 years ago I'd be at work in a super cute pencil thin black skirt with a turtleneck and black boots - I look so cute and mod, the shopping IS easy!!!
You can do it, it's just hard work, nothing wrong with a little hard work!
Glory
Wow! Glory, what you said about being a latchkey kid and boredom eating is my story exactly. I would eat peanut butter and brown sugar sandwiches, or sprinkle brown sugar on buttered toast. Food was my friend. *Sigh*
And the same with both of you on the sugar thing. I've been thinking a lot about it, too. I don't want to live a life with no sugar, either, so I am now limiting it to one treat a week, eaten outside my home. I may pay more for one slice of cake or a cup of ice cream, but that's only a hit to my purse, not my waist.
Sandi, a lot of losing weight is figuring out what makes you tick. You're doing an awesome job! Don't worry that you "only" lost 1.6 lbs--you gained a lot of knowledge about yourself that will help you in the long run. And long term is where it counts!
Sheila
Eating because of boredom is my major bad habit and also eating when I am reading or watching tv. I actually eat pretty healthy when it is meal-time, it is the snacking in between that does me in.
Sandi, have you ever though about going cold turkey on the white stuff for 2 weeks? Have you ever checked out Dr. Phil's rapid start plan? Basically it is a 2 week plan of eating protein, carbs in the form of fruits and veg and 1 whole grain carb a day. Also allowed 2 servings of low fat dairy per day. Nothing that has sugar or white flour. It is hard but you will lose weight with it. The one time I did it I lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks and I don't even think I stuck to it 100%. It is supposed to help motivate you by losing a significant amount of weight in a short time so you feel motivated to continue on changing your eating habits and also to break that sugar/white flour addiction. Just a thought since your post today seems to be about the white stuff addiction.
Also don't be so hard on yourself on 'only' losing 1.6lbs, that's better than gaining 1.6 lbs!!
Jen
1.6 is awesome Sandi. I hope you can be proud of that (darn that Biggest Loser for making us all think we can lose 17 lbs. in a week!).
I myself had to give up all the white foods for a while in order to get rid of my addiction. It was hard, but worth it. I am now able to have the occasional treat and be okay with it. I attribute this to giving up the trigger foods for a while.
I asked myself this question (once posed to me by a therapist years ago): Which is harder: giving up some foods for a while or being obese? It took me sooo long to figure out that being fat is harder. I wish I had figured it out years ago. Ah well...hindsight.
Keep it up!!
Knitsforfive from 3fc
Ahh, boredom eating and the evils of sugar. Raises hand, me too me too! As you know I was ruthless with the sugar, I cut out all sweets except for fruits and wholesome things like yogurt. And by golly, it worked like a charm. No sugar = no cravings. But it was also an incredibly strict way to live and as soon as I let myself slip a little, well, you can guess the result. What I wouldn't give for food to just be fuel rather than comfort, sigh...
Stay mindful Sandi, and just keep plugging away. (((hugs)))
That's my biggest beef with Biggest Loser, those unrealistic losses! 1.6 a week is a safe, sound and sensible weekly loss.
I can't really add anything to the wise words already written here about sugar addiction and our warped relationship with food.
I guess we can only keep living and learning and keeping in mind that the more we follow what we learn, the longer we'll live.
Ironically enough I found you through a post, that came up as a result to a search inquiry, on 3 fat chiks.com. In that post (about 2 years old) you mentioned the option of WLS. Of course I had to click the link to check your blog to see if you got approved. :)
When I read your entry ofr 1/21, it hit me, becasue I also have been trying identify my struggle with food. Being 14 months post-op, I do struggle. After 3 years of thought and at the recommendation of my PCP I finally convinced myself to have the surgery. Am I glad I did? Yes.
That being said I still struggle. I struggle to, what I call, stay in the current moment. I can easily be swayed by that donut if I'm not thinking about today -- the right now. It's like the old habits are still inside.
I literally have to say to myself, "I'm a new person". "I choose my foods differently now." I find that staying in the moment, helps me make better choices.
Good luck to you, and I'm glad I found you. For whatever reason, what you said resonated with me, and I wanted to let you know.
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