more than just talking about it

Hello World!! Welocme to my Blog. The title, More than just talking about it - refers to my 20 - 25 year struggle with my weight. I am usually all talk when it comes to weight loss. I talk a great talk and shortly there after I am back to my old ways. Yesterday I started again for the last time. And I thought I'd start a blog where I could capture my thoughts along the way. A little about me...

I am a 38 year old mom to a wonderful 5 year old. I have been very happily married for 14 years. I live in Indiana and I work full time as a software instructor. I am 5’6 and my current weight as of yesterday was 339.2. That is officially my highest weight EVER.

I haven’t always been this big. I wouldn’t say that I was ever “skinny” but when I look back, I was what people would call “normal”. In High school, I was maybe 175. I was 215 when I married at age 24. For a while there I put on 20 lbs a year. I was 320 at age 31. I lost about 20 lbs after I had my son, and hovered at 300 for a couple of years but jumped back up after I had a death in my family. And here I sit. I have no excuse for my weight. I am heavy because I eat too much of the wrong things and move too little.

I was in high school when I first joined Weight Watchers. I weighed 175. Over the years I have joined WW at least 5 times. I have done it all! Jenny Craig, hypnosis, TOPS, Overeaters Anonymous, Hired a personal trainer, seen a nutritionist and a psychologist. I’ve counted calories, carbs and fat grams. I’ve done Atkins, Richard Simmons Food Mover, The cabbage soup diet, you name it, I have done it. I have had bouts of success losing 40 lbs here and there, but always gaining it all back with interest. Why did they fail? They didn’t fail, I failed. I believe that most diet plans will allow you to lose weight if you follow them and follow them with consistency. Consistency…that’s where I get lost. In the past, I have used any and all excuses to go off my diet. I would get all “geared up” and start my plan on Monday (is there really any other day to start a new diet?) and I would stick to it 100%. Then I would make 1 wrong choice and just like that, it was over. It was all very black and white, I was either off or on, no in between. This time I am going with the thought that most of your choices need to be healthy choices and a 300 calorie poor choice doesn’t have to undo all the good choices you’ve made unless you let it turn into more poor choices. Every choice is a new chance to get it right.

My food plan will be counting calories. 1800 max. There are just 3 of us and my husband does most of the cooking. I plan on adjusting our regular meals where I can and adjust my portions as well. We are trying to make healthier substitutions such as whole grain bread and pasta, ground turkey breast and somehow more vegtables (I am a vegtable hater!) We will also eat out less. For breakfast and lunches, the key will be to pack them the night before (so that I am prepared) and then make a rule of eat what you brought. Breakfasts need to be on the go since I am out the door at 6:45 am.

This time I don’t just want to do this, I have to do this. At the young age of 38 I feel like an old woman. I have a heel spur that acts up a lot. I have unexplained leg cramps in my calves and thighs. I have elevated cholesterol. I get winded doing simple things. I need to regain my youth. For myself and for my family.

I want a normal life. I don't want to have to wait for a table at a restaurant or wonder if I'll fit in the seats at the ballpark. I want to run around with my son, ride rides...be normal.