Yesterday I mentioned eating 3 meals. That was appealing to me because it was easy. No counting, just eat 3 meals. I still think in my muddled brain that somehow this can be easy. I'm like a 5 year old in a 38 year old body. stomp, stomp, wahhhhhh, why do I have to?!?!!? I am a very responsible person. I have a full time job, a husband and son I take care of, a dog, 2 cats. I don't slack off, I do what I am supposed to. But when it comes to weight loss, I am like a dog who needs a bath, but is fighting and pulling all the way! And the thing is that I know this is not brain surgery. Count your calories, move more and you'll lose weight. It is that simple. So why do I fight it so? I am such a flipping baby about this.
I am glad I have my appointment with the Hypnotherapist tonight. Actually, it's an "evaluation". I hope that I can come away without having to pay for any sessions. The eval is free, but then he'll tell me how many sessions he needs. Patti has done some work for him, so that will cover some, but I can't really afford any sessions on my own. We are pretty much paycheck to paycheck right now.
I know I was supposed to start my 100 days today, but I didn't end up with my time last night because we went car shopping. Steve drives a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Which is just terrible on Gas. So he wants to trade it in for something with better gas mileage. But...we are upside down on the loan (owe more than it's worth), so we are having a hard time finding something we can pretty much just trade. Last night he found a Vibe that's about the same mileage as his Jeep, but where his Jeep gets 15/16 mpg, the Vibe is said to get 26/28 mpg. So we went to look at it and take a test drive. It's nice, so we applied for the loan and will have our mechanic take a look at it. I bet that would save us over $100.00 a month! While we were waiting for them to appraise the Jeep, they told us to have a seat in the waiting room. I didn't fit in the chairs. Not even close. That was such a terrible feeling. I was so happy to see the chairs in the office didn't have arms. How would I have filled out the paperwork? How did I get here and why do I stay?
I got a catalog in the mail today. Clothes. It wasn't the Lane Bryant or Silhouettes, it was normal size clothes. It made me sad. I used to care what I wore, how it looked, if it matched. Now all I care about is if it fits and does it cover my stomach. :(
Tonight is the "eval" and then I'm getting my hair cut. I already have short hair so hair cuts are not very exciting. It's just the same old thing!!!
Picture for the day...
4 comments:
Oh yeah, I totally get that feeling! I don't wanna, you can't make me! IT'S NOT FAIR! Well, by golly, it's not freakin fair! But it is life, so I guess stomping our feet and being stubborn just ain't gonna cut it. Sigh...
Good luck with the car shopping and budget woes. BTW, I hate hate hated chairs with arms! But soon enough m'dear, such worries shall no longer exist. Same goes for buying clothes out of necessity rather than style and preference. I think I practically lived in sweats and t-shirts there at the end. Not fun.
Good luck at the eval tonight, hope you find it to be worthwhile (and free!)
Love ya!
Bev
Money worries are sure not fun. Hope it goes well with the car. I too just traded in a car to get lower payements. Hey gotta save everywhere we can.
Sidenote here Bev don't know where your blog is now miss following your life. Hope all is well.
See every once in awhile I do read your thoughts..and I'm scared. Just kidding. Hang in there sis. We've been through alot and I know you'll get through this too!
Yes, eat less and move more. Sounds simple, should BE simple, but if that were true there wouldn't be a billion dollar "diet" industry would there? You are SO not alone, my dear.
I'm anxious to hear how the hypnotherapist visit went. I have a couple of friends who gave up 20/25 year smoking habits that way, so I think its a credible method.
Yeah, the clothes thing can be tiresome. I ended up with four separate wardrobes in varying sizes! I hear ya about cringing when it comes to chairs. I got stuck in a turnstyle once and to this day I still go through them sideways... xox
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